To Friends of Young Kids

Monica’s first birthday is this Sunday. Where has the time gone??? I didn’t become a mom one year ago. Or even one year and nine months ago. The process of becoming a parent started over two years ago. Two years ago yesterday, I lost my first pregnancy. I was 6 weeks pregnant. While we’re extremely blessed and grateful that we have Monica; other couples are struggling with infertility and/or waiting to become parents through adoption for much longer than two years.
 
My friend Marie doesn’t have a blog, but wrote a letter that she wanted to share with parents of young kids. Some of you might relate to Marie, so I’ve given her this blog post as a way to share a little of her story.

Dear Friends of Young Kids,

Happy Mother’s Day! Mothers are a precious gift from God and you show such grace being mothers. Here is my thank you note to you.

Thank you for taking me Easter outfit shopping at the newest children’s resale boutique. I enjoyed being out with you, shopping, and looking at cute kids clothes. I may not have my own kids to buy clothes for, but I enjoy looking at frilly pink dresses and enjoyed helping your almost-screaming almost-two year old try on clothes.

Thank you for inviting us out for beignets and coffee. Though it may not be the easiest to take a 5 month old to a coffee shop, we had a nice time sitting outside with you and laughed when your husband changed your daughter on the bench in the coffee shop. I dream of one day taking my daughters out for coffee with friends.

Thank you for calling me to tell me you are pregnant. I love to hear your voice and celebrate with you. Though we have yet to have the opportunity to make such joyful phone calls to friends, thank you for telling me in person, so I don’t cry seeing someone else announce it on Facebook.

Thank you for posting your good news on Facebook. I planned five years ago what we would post and how fun it would be. Most days it is so joyful when you post online your good news. Forgive me if I cry when I see you good news; it is not that we are not soo happy for you, it is that we want that same blessing in our lives as you have in yours.

Thank you for inviting me to your baby showers. I love shopping and planning showers gifts and celebrating God’s gift of new life. I hope you understand how sometimes, I just can’t come. It’s not that I don’t want to, but my heart is too heavy and too hurt at times to celebrate.

Thanks for giving me time to grieve my own loss and celebrate with you. Thank you for sharing your losses and struggles with me. I understand where you are coming from and I will pray with you, cry with you, and celebrate with you when you have good news to share.

Thank you for helping me to know your children, telling me what they enjoy and what clothes they wear and how fun they are. I really love your children and love that they know me.

Thank you for asking how we are doing. Thank you for caring sensitive and understanding. Really, I am no different than you are. Some days, I am calm, collected, hopeful. Some days I am a wild mess, with dirty laundry and a messy house. We both love kids, we both have busy lives and thank you for being my friend.

Marie

Thank you, Marie. My friend Stephanie is going through a similar chapter right now and blogs at Blessed to Be. She shares about their journey to parenthood. If you are struggling with infertility and/or in the process of adopting, you can find comfort in reading her blog. She also has a lovely blog link-up called “Little Happies” where she shares little moments of happiness while waiting for the next big thing to happen.

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Comments

  1. says

    Hi Stephanie @ Blessed to Be! I accidentally deleted your comment while trying to approve/publish it. I’m so sorry! Here it is:

    Thanks for the shout out, Cathy! Marie has written a really sweet post here. Thanks for making us infertiles feel more welcome in your blogosphere. :)

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